"All monetary proceeds from "Oh Shit! There's Mad Trash on the Beach!" will be donated to the Ocean Conservancy organization (oceanconservancy.org) because for real, these beaches are mad trashy and someone has to clean up all the fucking trash.
Seriously, I'm pretty concerned about the amount of trash on this beach, it just can't be good for all the marine life. I looked into the tidepools earlier and saw an octopus in a knife fight with a starfish. I keep having to avoid stepping on syringes, seriously guys can we not leave so much fucking trash on the beach?"